Formal Letter
Subject: Self-introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Houston, from your Effective Communication tutorial class 3 and I am writing to talk a little more about myself so you get to know me better. I am currently studying Engineering in Sustainable Infrastructure(Building Services) at the Singapore Institute of Technology as a Year 1 student, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in Aerospace Electronics in 2019. After graduation, I went on to serve National Services with the Singapore Armoured Regiment as a Scout Commander, for 2 years before returning for school. After being away from studying for 2 years, I would say that I have a lot to catch up on compared to those that didn’t have to serve national services but the experiences are great anyway. My interest in engineering developed as I am fascinated by how engineering products have change people's lives, and the passion stays with me throughout until I get to try it out during my course of study in polytechnic.
I have quite a few hobbies that keep me engaged during my free time, which include sports, food hunting, and spending time with family and friends. These hobbies have contributed to the development of my confidence and communication skills. An example of strength in my communication would be the ability to speak with confidence and clarity, which I acquired during my national service. A weakness to my communication would be the lack of relevant content and fear of losing my audience focus.
By the end of this module, I would hope that I could improve in my use of my words and sentence structuring for communication, and being able to communicate with less processing time as it often takes me some time to think of a response when questions are asked.
Best regards,
Houston Tan
Blogs commented on:
1. Kriston
2. Jane
3. Casimir
Hi Houston! I thought that your formal letter was very interesting and fun to read :)
ReplyDeleteJust a little suggestion, in your first paragraph you have written that your purpose of writing this letter is to "talk a little more about yourself...". I thought that a better word choice for 'talk' would be 'share'.
Do let me know your thoughts about my suggestion :)
Dear Jane,
DeleteI will look into it and make the necessary adjustment to the words used.
Sincerely,
Houston
Hi Houston! Really interesting and relatable letter to read.
ReplyDeleteAll the necessary content was mentioned in your letter and it was well articulated. Perhaps you can elaborate more on your communication strengths and weaknesses by supporting it with some examples.
Dear Kriston,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. I will explain more about my claims and make the necessary adjustment to the letter.
Sincerely,
Houston
Dear Houston,
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you, from your letter I am able to get to know more about you. I think every NS guys face the same problem of having the 2 years of being detach completely from school. It would be a struggle at start I think slowly you will be able to be adapted to schooling again. Overall your letter is smooth to read and clear in the points!
Hope to work with you in the future.
Your sincerely
Zhen Xuan
Dear Zhen Xuan,
DeleteThank you for your feedback, and I am also looking forward to working with you.
Sincerely,
Houston
Dear Houston,
ReplyDeleteIt’s good to read this clear, concise letter. Thank you for sharing.
I’m happy to discover, for example, how you developed an interest in engineering through the development of 'engineering products.' But I have a few questions: What sort of development are you referring to? Can you be more specific?
You have also explained your strength and weakness in communication and your goals, but again a bit more elaboration may be useful for us readers. I can say for certain you will have a chance to work on refining your language use this term.
A few language issues in this letter include the following:
1. some capitalization issues
2. verb issues
-- ...I am fascinated by how engineering products have change people's lives.... > (verb tense) ?
-- My interest in engineering developed as I am fascinated by how engineering products have
change people's lives, and the passion stays with me throughout until I get to try it out during my course of study in polytechnic. > (overall verb tense) ?
3. the need for more concrete detail/explanation
-- A weakness to my communication would be the lack of relevant content and fear of losing my audience focus.
4. comma splice
-- I am currently studying Engineering in Sustainable Infrastructure(Building Services) at the Singapore Institute of Technology as a Year 1 student, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in Aerospace Electronics in 2019. > ?
Let's review and revise.
Best wishes,
Brad
Hi Houston ! I thought the letter was well written as I got to know more about you. I believe most of the guys will be able to relate to this so don’t worry about it !
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, there were some grammar errors so you might want to take note of that in your future writings. Hope to see you soon !
Best wishes,
Casimir
Dear Casimir,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. I will look into the grammar error and do the relevant amendment
Sincerely,
Houston
Hello Houston, I really cannot help but agree with you on the issue on how despite having lots to catch up on due to NS it too is an experience that I would not regret having to go through. My NS journey was definitely as bittersweet as most others but personally it one that I would hate to forget and seeing you mention about it in your letter I cannot help but to comment on it.
ReplyDelete